It seems like it’s been an eternity since I last blogged.
There has been so much that’s happened in just a few weeks that my head is spinning!
I have a lot to say in this post so if you make it through to the end I LOVE YOU.
I haven’t posted much more about our house situation because I didn’t want to jinx anything.
We had such a terrible time with our first round of offers and contracts that I wanted to just be silent about it.
But here I am now ready to share our story!
Whatever happens is going to happen regardless, and being able to blog about it is my therapy so here we go!
I started the showing process of our home again right before Thanksgiving.
It was stressful but I made it happen!
I’m the kinda gal that once I’m given a task or a plan with a deadline – it will get done.
No matter what I have to do I’ll make it happen.
Sure, I might wait until the last minute to do it, but hey as long as it gets done, right!? Hah!
So, back to showings we went.
We had a showing on black Friday and I wasn’t sure why I agreed to it since I host Thanksgiving every year.
I thought maybe I got myself into a bit of a mess.
I won’t lie, for this showing I half ass’d when I cleaned for it.
It was still nice and clean but I definitely didn’t clean the way that I have been previously for the showings.
I figured that if they are going to love the house then they will.
Even if those base boards aren’t super shiny and the sink isn’t perfectly bleached.
I threw the towel in that day and hoped for the best.
I was pregnant and tired and just a hot mess.
That night we got the offer on the house!
Now we are crossing fingers and toes and eyelashes that this time it works out.
Also, we have found another house that we are in love with and it’s absolutely perfect for our growing family!!
*Now for the pregnant life.*
With tears in my eyes as I type this to share with the world I have the sad news once again that we lost our baby.
I wasn’t sure if I should put this post all together because I didn’t want to give an impression that this miscarriage wasn’t devastating to me, because it was.
I decided to put it all together because this is all my life.
This is all that we have been dealing with for weeks now and there was no breaks or chapters.
It’s all just running together.
I posted on social media our beautiful blob of a baby a couple weeks ago when we got our ultrasound and I was SO EXCITED to share the news!
We had one little healthy baby in there.
Fast forward the next two weeks when I began to bleed last Thursday.
At first I didn’t worry too much because spotting can be normal.
The next day when it got worse I did begin to worry.
My heart sank because my gut knew what was happening.
I went in for a ultrasound the next day and on the screen I saw exactly what we saw two weeks before.
Same size and same slow heartbeat.
Tears ran down my face as the ultrasound tech tried to sound positive and Greg was grinning ear to ear because to him a heartbeat is all he needed to see.
It wasn’t until the ultrasound tech walked out when I explained to Greg that the baby hasn’t grown at all and that’s not a good sign.
The Doctor came in and confirmed everything that I already knew.
We were loosing our baby again.
I could not wait to get out of that office so I could cry.
The lump in my throat made my head feel like it was going to explode.
We finally got to the car and I finally let the tears fall down my face.
I had Greg run in to get food and I’m not even for sure why because I really wasn’t hungry.
I think I just needed some alone time so I could really do the cry that my body was aching for.
As soon as he got out of the car it all came out.
My head was pounding and makeup was all down my face.
I just couldn’t believe this was happening to us again!
I tried taking my mind off of it because at this point we still needed a house like yesterday or we will be homeless!
So, I started looking on my phone while I was waiting on Greg to come back to the car and there it was.
The first day on the market I found our home.
We drove straight to the house to look at it from the outside and I just knew that was our house.
We went home and Greg took care of me.
He ran to the store to get all the huge pads I would be needing and he came back with lots of goodies and flowers.
Have I ever told you all how much I love him!?
He had a funny story when he came home too that I want to share with you all.
While he was at the store he helped a little old lady get some things she needed off the top shelf like any good man would do and a worker noticed his kindness!
So, as Greg searched the pad aisle some workers approached him and thanked him for his kindness and gave him all the soup he was buying for free!
They said they were looking all over the store for him. Haha!
I’m sure they never imagined that he would be in the pad aisle.
I laugh every time I imagine all of this happening! LOL.
The next day we were able to go in the house I found and see the inside and we made our offer!
Over the next few days my body began to take care of what it needed to.
We took the kids on the Santa Express and went on living our life and being there for the babies that we do have.
Not once did my mind forget about the baby that I was loosing.
It just made it a little easier with the comfort and love from our family that we are already blessed with.
Today is the first day that I have felt more like myself.
My body just hasn’t felt right for weeks now and I now realize that my body knew something was wrong all along.
For now I will be taking deep breaths and taking comfort in knowing that life is never planned or forced.
What is meant to be will be and it will always work out in the end.
I can’t wait to see what is to come for 2017.
Below are some picture’s from the last few weeks!