This post is long over due for me and I’ve been dying to share about this experience for quite some time now but life got a little harder. In fact I wrote this post over a month ago and it’s been sitting here since! So FINALLY, here we go! I’m finally able and comfortable sharing with you all how and when I met my super cool bio Dad’s side of the family. It’s been an awkward and uncomfortable subject for me for a very long time and I am finally ready to share with you all! Many people will wonder why I share so much through my blog and question me about what I decide to put out in the world. I get it. We aren’t all the same. I can only speak for myself and tell you why I do it. I share things because I am an open book. I like to share our life stories and be as honest as I can be through my blog. I want to help others that have felt my pain but are too uncomfortable to talk about it. I share to relate to others and let others see that everyone’s story is different and beautiful. I share because I wish there was a blog for me to read when I was going through so many of these moments alone. So, today I am sharing all about the experience I’ve had these past two years with meeting my biological father’s side of the family!
Something many people don’t know about me is that I have never met my father. I snuck it into one of my old blog posts last year (if you’d like to read some other fun facts about me read here). In February 2016 I found him! After over 20 years of wondering about my bio dad, what did he look like? Do I look like him? Do I have grandparents that would love me? Do they all know about me? I mean I could go on and on and on with all of the questions I’ve always had.
The short story is that my mom was a teen mom. She gave birth to me and knew my bio Dad would not be involved. My mother and grandparents all came together to give me the best life they could. I had a great childhood and always knew I was loved. I never really needed my dad to be in my life, at least that’s what I thought. I didn’t miss having him because I didn’t even know what it would be like to have a father. How can you miss something/someone you never had? The only thing I knew about him was that he was on a bad path in life and my life was better without him, and so it was.
Once social media came up with all of these ways to search and connect with people I began searching his name when I was a teen. I could never find anything. I would search out of curiosity to see if we look alike at all. Then, February 2016 I searched his name on Facebook and there he was. I knew it was him as soon as I saw the picture because he looked just like me! I’ll never forget the nervous feeling I got and the feeling of my stomach in my throat. It was late at night and I took a screenshot and sent it to my mom for confirmation. She finally wrote back what felt like 10 years later that it was him. Even though I already knew it, I just needed some confirmation.
The next day after thinking A LOT about what to do I messaged him on Facebook. It’s a bit of a blur for me, there were so many mixed emotions for me and now it’s been a couple of years. So, it’s hard to remember every detail but I remember he didn’t write back quick enough so I ended up doing a little more Facebook stalking and finding basically my whole damn fam! Haha. You guys, I found some cousins, a brother, sister, aunt, and a really cool and sweet grandma! Haha!
So, I ended up reaching out to all of them and it just went from there. My dads sister ended up messaging me and was super nice. Then my cousin that’s just about 3 months older than me messaged me and she had just as many questions as I did, haha! They have all been amazing and so welcoming to me! Not to bore you all with every little detail after all of the messaging but we ended up meeting in person not long after connecting. I met my cousin and grandma and younger sister for lunch one day at the cheesecake factory and I’ll never forget how freaking nervous I was. Haha. This was probably one of the most nerve wracking things I have ever done in my life going there that day. For so long I have wondered about these people and would imagine what it would be like meeting them and that day finally was here. Once we sat down and started talking it felt easy and natural to me. Kind of like we were family or something? Hah.
After a few more months I met a few more people here and there and we’ve kept in touch. It’s nice to finally be able to put faces to the people that I’ve always wondered about and get to know them. I look forward to getting to know them all a little more every year. It’s a fun and exciting time! They are all nothing like I imagined when I was younger, they are MUCH better! Haha. I can’t say the same for my bio Dad, unfortunately. We still have not met and I’m actually okay with that. My heart is always open for good people so I think I really lucked out with the family part of it. And I can finally openly say that I have a bother and three sisters!
Pictured below from left to right–my cousin (Chrissy), Grandma (MiMi), brother (Trenton)
We had a lot of people there that night and I’m not sure why we didn’t get a picture with everyone but I wish I would have! My aunt and her husband were there, Trenton’s mom and Chrissy’s husband. Sorry guys, we will get a pic next time! Hah!