Rowan & Mommy Time

Having three kids can be a little crazy at times, as far as spending time with each one of them and making sure that you’re not focusing more on one than the other and blah blah.

It’s HARD, guys! Haha!

Sure, with my first I was all about being strict and eating organic and this and that.

Then Jaxson came along and yeah I was still pretty much a crunchy Mom.

Everything was new and exciting still and I wanted to do it all!

Then came the third little sweetheart, Rowan.

This girl just goes with the flow of her older siblings and she gets all the toys that they had and we don’t really go out of the way to do a lot of just Rowan things.

I know that sounds terrible saying it out loud but she LOVES going along and getting to do all the fun things Mady & Jaxson do, and let me tell ya, the girl keeps up! HA!

So, with all of this being said yesterday we had a morning for Rowan!

I found a cute Mommy place that was hosting a toddler ice painting group!

The older kids stayed home with Greg and off we went.

Even though my GPS lied to me and got me lost and late, by the way (hate being late) I wasn’t going to let me walking in late stop us from this freakin’ ice painting for my girl! HA.

Mama was on a mission!

I sat out in the parking lot after I finally found it (15 minutes late) and got the nerve to finally walk in.

Mind you, I had no clue what I was walking into.

I wasn’t sure if I’d walk in and it would be super organized and quiet and everyone look at me like a crazy late person or if anyone would even notice…hopefully NOT!

Okay, so long story short we went in and it was so awesome!

Not super organized and it was very go with the flow and laid back just like we like it!

I awkwardly stood there for a minute while Rowan went off to check it all out and I finally just introduced myself to another Mom that was just as awkward as me, Haha, and it was her first time there too!

I felt so much more relaxed and okay once I was in there with Rowan and she was loving it!

The Moms were so nice and open and I wasn’t the only newbie so that was a win! Ha!

 I am so glad that I didn’t let my social anxiety get in the way of letting Rowan have some much needed solo time out today.

She had so much fun and was able to interact with other little ones her age and my favorite part was that it was just her and I.

We came home and hung her little painting on the refrigerator and it’s just the best!

I definitely want and need to make these things happen more because these moments are so precious.

XO
Amber

Home Sweet Home

Friday, May 19, 2017 we signed the papers to our new home that we have dreamed of for quite sometime now.

The whole journey really began last September when we decided to put our first home up for sale after owning it for almost five years.

We moved into that house as a starter home when Mady was three years old and I was nine months pregnant with Jaxson.

We quickly grew out of it and always knew we would want try to find something bigger when we could!

So, in September we signed all the papers cleaned the crap out of the house and boxed things up and boom it was time to start showings.

We got our first offer October 10th on Jaxson’s fourth birthday and another offer the following day!

We were SO excited but I just felt like it was all happening too easy because for us and a lot of people things don’t just happen like that, haha!

Everything was going well until the home inspection and then it hit the fan, haha! (I can laugh now because its OVER)

The inspections were a nightmare for us.

There were just a lot of expensive things that needed to be replaced and fixed and we just didn’t have the means to do so.

That was a huge disappointment.

We ended up loosing the buyer and decided to go ahead and scrape together the funds to get what they asked for fixed so the next buyer hopefully wouldn’t have a bad inspection.

The house went back up a few weeks later for sale and we quickly had another offer and THE SAME THING HAPPENED.

I actually cried some real tears that time from the huge disappointment.

Going through all of this plus the miscarriage at the same time was rough.

I’m usually the positive one that just tries to figure out what we’re going to to next to make this happen for us but this time I felt defeated.

We ended up going off the market for a few weeks after that and we decided to go ahead and get a new roof!

When we went back on the market it was a weekend so I cleaned the house super good and we packed the kids up and stayed at a hotel with a pool that weekend and there were about 25 showings overall and we had a winning offer right off the bat!

That offer worked out so well and I knew it was all worth the wait, hard work and dedication to get that house sold!

Now, here we were with our house almost sold and we didn’t have a house.

The last two times we got the offers we quickly found a new house and had contracts under them but then lost them once our buyers backed out.

This time the market was different and people were basically out to kill.

Haha, not really but really..

We looked and weren’t finding anything at all so we gave building a shot.

Let me just tell you, I was in way over my head with the building thing.

I went back and forth for days and days.

My gut was telling me NO but the unrealistic side of me wanted the nice new huge house that was very expensive.

My unrealistic side ended up winning for like a day.

We went to sign all the papers and pick out everything from the location of the lot to where cable outlets would be placed in the new house and the whole time we were in that meeting it was like I was watching everything from the outside in.

You know that cliche thing? The outer body experience?

Yeah, that was happening to me.

I had so much on my mind- How would we afford this? Is this the right decision? I really wanted a bigger yard and I didnt want a HOA.

Also, during all of this we thought Rowan had pneumonia (according to the ER the day before).

So, after this meeting I had to take Rowan to the DR for a follow up and make sure she would be okay because Greg and I were supposed to leave the next freakin day for our first ever vacation without kids! (Yeah I was having a freak out).

I got to the DR and on the way there literally cried to Greg and told him I think we made a huge mistake and I needed him to FIX IT.

Normally I’m the calm and collected one that goes with the flow but this time I was legit freaking out and felt so out of control!

Okay long story short Greg walks in the exam room and met Rowan and I and he already spoke with our realtor and cancelled everything! Then I cried happy tears! HAHA!

THEN the Dr made the day even better and said that Rowan was misdiagnosed and he made me feel so much better about leaving her.

I knew she would be in good hands but being a Mama and leaving your sick baby its just not a good feeling.

Also, that night Rowan was already getting better so I felt SO much better!

Okay, back to the house thing..

Now we were back to just looking for a regular house.

BUT we were stuck with a 6 month apartment lease now.

I didn’t think it would be that bad because of the way the market was then and then BOOM we found our house and had to break our apartment lease and spend a butt load of money doing that and here we are folks!!!

I am sitting in my new house that fits our family much better and couldn’t be happier!

We bought this house for a great price and its a fixer upper for us but the location and yard is what really made us fall in love.

 When we closed on the house and met the man that grew old here with his wife and raised six kids in this home I just knew it was meant to be.

He was a sweet spunky little thing too, haha.

He told us the story of when he started a petition on the street years ago to keep our street a dead end when the city wanted to open it up and he won!

He also told us that he got the street lights installed all down our street to make it safer for all of the kids to play!

He had so many cute stories and it just made my day.

His wife and him moved into this house when it was just built and they were the only owners until now.

They moved in the same day as the neighbors and they became best friends! HOW CUTE!?

This house has so much character and I can just feel all the memories it holds.

For me I know this was meant to be and everything worked out the way it was supposed to, like it always does.

Through all the defeat and obstacles this is right!

The pictures Im sharing today are some of the before pictures!

I promise as soon as I get my updates complete I will share everything with you all!

We began renovations the day we moved in so its been crazy since day uno, hah!

I haven’t unpacked everything yet and we have a lot of furniture we still need to get and some of our furniture we already had doesn’t fit where we need it!

So, there is just stuff everywhere right now.

My goal is for the kitchen to be completed in the next 2-3 weeks and then we can move to the bathrooms.

Let me just tell you about these bathrooms..

One has purple tile floor, which isn’t too bad, but the other has CARPET! EW.

I have a lot of plans for this house and can’t wait to show you all the before and afters!

Im going with the ‘modern farmhouse theme’ is that a thing? Haha!

Pinterest is my shizz right now and Instagram is giving me life.

Im also learning that everything will mess up and take more time than you planned!

Okay, brace yourselves for some of these pictures I will have a lot more pictures of the whole house once the kitchen is done. You’ll get to see bedrooms, upstairs, lower level, downstairs, the yard.

I just need to find my camera charger in one of these boxes…seriously!

I love these steps and our walk path to the front door.

This is the original stove and oven that came with the house. I thought it was a microwave, Haha.

I have big plans down here and I already have the paint!

We plan to make a fourth bedroom but for now they love sharing a room!

 

For those of you going through a hard time know that nothing lasts forever. This is only a season and it will pass and with a lot of work and dedication your goals with be accomplished if you don’t give up!

Hang in there, you got this!

Sorry I couldn’t show you the whole house because there are a lot more things that I wanted to show but I seriously can’t find my camera charger!

XO

Amber

 

 

 

INFERTILITY FROM A MOTHER OF THREE

Infertility is a tricky little thing.

It’s a word I never imagined I would be using in my family planning vocabulary.

Some would think that infertility isn’t something I deal with because I have three healthy babies. (Myself included)

And with that being said, honestly I do feel guilty even associating myself with that ugly word.

I feel guilty because of the millions of women that struggle with infertility and can’t become pregnant with their own children at all.

The ones that have been trying for years and years with no luck, or the countless miscarriages they have gone through.

The hundreds and thousands of dollars they’ve spent on pregnancy tests, ovulation tests, and other infertility treatments just for one baby.

I feel for you women, I hurt for you women, and I cry for you women.

I’ve been in denial for so long and never use the word for myself.

I have finally accepted and am trying to cope with the truth of my reality that I struggle with infertility.

It sounds a bit selfish coming from a mother of three but it is my reality.

It may not be every moment that I have the gut wrenching sadness from the miscarriages but it’s there.

I deal with the monthly disappointment of not getting a positive test and then when I think that MAYBE I really am pregnant this time soon after that exciting thought, I feel scared.

I’m scared that it’s just going to happen all over again.

Then I start questioning myself asking what would I do if it happened again??

Would I want to tell anyone we’re pregnant this time if we are??

Will it be healthy??

Am I the problem??

Can I physically and emotionally handle another miscarriage??

SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

When we were going through our losses it was hard for me to process.

I was devastated when we got the news every time at the doctor but it seemed like as soon as I stepped out of that office it wasn’t real.

Even with all the blood and cramping it wasn’t real to me.

I don’t think I ever really mentally dealt with it myself.

As the months have went by and here we are 5 months after my last miscarriage and the last time we saw that tiny heartbeat on the monitor, I can’t help but think about so many things.

Like, when we go to a family event and I watch our children hold and love on their 12 week old baby cousin, I can’t help but imagine how much they would of loved their 12 week old baby so much.

And how our baby would be the same age as their baby cousin is right now.

Or when I went to my best friends baby shower over the weekend I was also reminded that I should also be almost 8 months pregnant with her and we could have matching baby bumps.

I am so happy for these new babies and all to come with pregnancy all around me I just get hit every now and then with a tinge of sadness when I remember my babies and what they would be today.

What would those babies be like?

Would they have been a girl or a boy?

Would they of looked just like my others or would they be the first redhead of my babies?

So many thoughts linger through my head daily.

I’m finally going to allow myself to use this word infertility for myself.

I’m not going to feel guilty using it anymore because I miss my babies.

I miss feeling safe once I got the positive pregnancy test because I will never feel that safety again.

I went from it being hard for me to conceive to being able to conceive then loose the babies before I could meet them.

It absolutely terrifies me to think of going through it all over again, but I know in my heart we are meant to have another baby to love.

Not sure what that will look like or if I will be able to carry our baby but we will have one when the time comes.

After hundreds of negative pregnancy tests, one chemical pregnancy, and two miscarriages I am being honest and sharing my heart that I deal with infertility as a mother of three and its okay that I admit that.

XO

Amber

For a look at our whole journey through pregnancy loss the links are below:

Our Pregnancy Journey

Update on Baby Bean

When Life Happens

Maybe, Baby

The Waiting Game

When it Rains it Pours

 

 

 

Let’s play catch up!

Well hello there! I should start telling you all that I will only post about every month because I suck at making the time to sit and blog! Haha! Totally kidding, you just never know with me. I like to keep it spicy and be random. Hah! Maybe one day I’ll give you two in one week or something crazy.

I have so much to write about that I literally had like 5 different blog posts in my head on the way here to this coffee shop today. I have some really great posts coming soon that are close to my heart! Today I’m just sharing a little update on what’s been going on in the Florence life. Here we go!

This year has been so crazy! We have been in the process of selling our first home since last September and with a lot of bumps not just speed bumps either but like sink holes to get over we FINALLY SOLD THE HOUSE! The whole time we were waiting for the final steps I just couldn’t believe that it was real. It honestly still doesn’t feel real! I’m just so happy. Now, when we sold the house we did not have a new house lined up. There were too many times that we had a new house that we fell in love with and made an offer and then something with our house fell through so we had to back out of our new home. It wasn’t a great feeling. This time we decided to not get ahead of ourselves and just sell our house first then figure it out. We ended up deciding to build a home and we got a short term lease on an apartment. We had a plan, or so we thought.

 

Flash forward to two weeks after our house is sold and we have been living this apartment life, we have made a completely different decision on building a home and we were back to looking at houses on the market. The way the market is right now I had a feeling it would be a few months at least until we found the perfect house for us with the perfect price. Then a few days ago I get an E-Mail from our realtor and the title was “THIS!!!” I opened that E-Mail and LOVED what I was seeing. We booked a showing that day and made an offer! Now, if all goes as planned and the inspection goes well it will be our new home and I couldn’t be happier! Greg was working when we got to see the house and I told him before I went that if I love it I’m making an offer. He said “Do what you do, boo!” Haha, and it was a wrap. I love this house. The location, the yard and inside has so much potential. It came exactly when I had given up looking so hard and it came at just the right time. I’ve been excited everyday daydreaming about everything we’re going to do to this house and how our kids are going to grow up here and make so many more fun family memories. SO. FREAKING. EXCITED.

(Pictures are of us saying goodbye to our first house)

Okay, let’s talk vacation!

Greg and I took our first vacation this year kid free! It was our 5 year wedding anniversary and since I happened to not be pregnant for it we decided to just do it, and go! We went to South Florida and we both flew for the first time ever. We got to experience so many firsts together on this trip and it was the best time of my life. This trip was just what we both needed. The first day was a little strange because we were tired from traveling all day and when we got to the hotel we were exhausted! First thing we both did was take a nap! Haha! We got up and got ready to check the place out. We had dinner at the hotel by the pool and Greg did a little swimming. The weather and beach wasn’t the hot tropical goodness that we had imagined the whole way there, so I decided to make a random decision and move us further south. (See how random we are? Haha!) I got us a new hotel in Fort Myer, Florida and the next day we woke up checked out of that hotel and drove 2 hours to the new hotel and we were so happy we did!

Fort Myer was amazing! It was gorgeous! Our hotel was the best and just everything all around was the best. We spent this trip learning how to have fun with each other and be alone and it was SO needed. Greg and I got married just one year after dating and I had already began my motherhood journey. So, we have never really had a chance to just be alone and live that life. No regrets here at all it was just so nice to be able to be us for a few days. Even though we missed the kids like crazy and had more conversations about them then not, haha! Being a teen mom I’ve never experienced this adult life without kids and I got to do some things that I wouldn’t easily be able to if we would have had the kids. We went paddle boarding in the ocean for the first time and that was a task, let me tell ya. Haha! Basically we went surfing. At least that’s what my body is telling me. Paddle boarding looks nice and easy but it’s actually quite a little workout. Hah! It was so funny though and I couldn’t quit laughing at Greg every time he would try to stand and fall in. SO FUNNY. We had sting rays all around us too! It was awesome. We made so many memories that I will never forget and I am so grateful that we were able to have this opportunity together. We came back from vacation recharged and closer than ever before and I know our kids will benefit from it. It was so good for us!

I’ll wrap it up now. I just wanted to share a little with you all and catch you up on this Florence life of ours. It’s been a wild ride but I’m so happy with where it is taking us. I can’t wait to get back in the groove of a good routine and share the new house with you all! EEK!

Ps- If you thought this was a pregnancy announcement, sorry to disappoint, haha! It will happen when the time is right, I just know it. Also, thank you all so the support in that journey. I know everyone will be just as thrilled when the time comes for us as we are.

XO

Amber

GIVEAWAY!

Hello! Thanks for stopping in! I’m going to make this short and simple for you all! I’ve teamed up with some fellow bloggers that I love to follow and we’re doing an awesome giveaway! Who doesn’t want $50?! Go ahead and get in there to be the winner! Good luck!

Xo

Amber

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